Inner Thoughts
by Sowilo
Summary: Everyone thinks that they have Garcia and Morgan figured out, but this is what they really think.  The story will be at least two chapters, possibly more if people would like more.
1. Chapter 1

Derek knew that Penelope thought that he didn't find her attractive. He also knew that she based her conclusion on the women who she saw him with – the tall, thin, model types. What she didn't know was that she was the reason that she only saw him with that type of woman.

Truth be told, Derek loved women in general. All kinds of women- tall, short, thin, curvy, whatever. The thing is, all of his women had a "special something". The model types had their bodies and faces, other women had intelligence or humor, others had heart or caring. Derek was attracted to beauty, yes, but he was also attracted to talent.

When he first met Penelope, he was attracted to her spark and wit. But he was sort of seeing this girl, and he was hesitant about getting involved with someone that he worked with on a regular basis. Even if she didn't carry a gun. It didn't stop him from flirting, though.

By the time that he was free of what'shername, he and Penelope had become closer, and he was reluctant to risk the budding connection between them. He liked the way that she cared about her team and would move heaven and earth to keep them safe. He liked the way she smiled and laughed when he flirted with her. And he liked the warm feeling in his stomach when she flirted back. He had women he liked or enjoyed spending time with, but he really didn't have any women friends. What he and Penelope had was special and he didn't want to mess it up for sex that he could have with anyone. Or so he thought.

One night, he was out at a club having a good time. He spotted a curvy blonde who kind of reminded him of his baby girl. He sauntered up to her and turned on the Derek Morgan charm. She fell quickly under his spell and he offered to drive her home. She accepted, and they left for her place. When they arrived, she invited him in for coffee. Soon, they were kissing on the couch, the pretense forgotten as soon as they walked in the door.

As Derek ran his hands up her sides, he found that he couldn't relax. Something wasn't quite right. She felt nice under his hands, but something was missing. He nuzzled her neck, and felt bereft. He took a deep breath and realized what it was. He wanted her to smell like strawberries and vanilla, like his baby girl. He drew back slightly and saw that her artfully applied lipstick camouflaged a thin mouth, not plump lips like his baby girl. When he thought about it, there wasn't even anything special about her, not like his baby girl.

"Shit," he thought. "How am I going to get out of this?" He didn't want to hurt her feelings, but he suddenly didn't want to be there.

As if she sensed that he was in distress, his phone rang at that moment. The caller ID flashed "Baby Girl".

"Thank God," he thought. "She always knows when I need her."

He pulled back from the woman apologetically and answered the phone with a crisp "Morgan."

"Hey hot stuff," Penelope said cheerfully. "Just calling to see if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Morgan schooled his face into a look of concern and said "Yes sir! I'll be there as soon as I can."

Penelope giggled on the other end of the phone. "Oh, sugar, you owe me for getting you out of whatever mess you're in right now."

"Yes, sir, I certainly do!" Morgan replied. "I'll leave right away!" He hung up and turned to the dejected woman sitting on the couch. "Sorry, honey," he said, "Work calls."

"Maybe some other time?" she said hopefully. Derek smiled, didn't answer, and slipped out of the door. He jumped into his car and headed home.

As he drove, he thought about what had just happened. He'd thought that he was just attracted to a curvy blonde, but it turns out he was craving his baby girl. What did this mean, he wondered. He'd never been so fixated on a woman to the exclusion of a willing partner. Sure, he might have thought that so and so had a better butt, or that he liked natural breasts better than fake ones, but it never stopped him from loving the one he was with.

He didn't like the way it felt, and right then and there he decided that he was going to stay away from curvy blondes. With one exception, of course.


	2. Chapter 2

Penelope knew that everyone thought that she was in love with Derek. That all he had to do was crook his finger and she would fall into his bed. They were wrong. Sure, she found him attractive, who wouldn't? But she was not carrying a torch and she certainly was not in love. They were friends, best friends, but that's all.

The first time they met, Penelope was amused. She'd met his type before - very good looking, very charming. Women wanted to be with him, men wanted to be him. She did her job in her usual spectacular way and he was impressed. He kept flirting, she flirted back. It was fun, and it made her job more interesting.

They became closer in time. They found that they liked many of the same movies, books and TV shows. But they weren't exactly alike, and it was fun to introduce each other to new things. They could talk for hours, about everything, anything and nothing.

Through the years, they learned all about each other. As tragedies happened, they turned to each other. Through the revelation of Buford, through Battle, through Foyet, they were each other's rock. They were also there for each other during the good times, like when Penelope met Kevin. Or when Morgan met . . . whomever.

As her platonic love grew, Penelope realized why she never fell for Derek. She couldn't love someone who didn't love himself. Derek thought that he was not worthy of love.

She knew that he deliberately avoided real relationships. He used his job as an excuse not to get close to anyone so that he could never be told that he was not loved. Her heart ached for this amazing man who thought that his only value was in the things he did, not who he was.

She knew that he thought that she liked him because he was good looking and charismatic. He wouldn't understand that she liked him because he remembered her likes and dislikes, paid attention to her moods, was always ready to talk or listen, and treated her like the most important treasure that he could protect.

She was his solace, but he didn't understand that he was hers, too.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry that this took so long. I've been working on a few other things, but mostly it's the cardinal sin of writers – starting something without knowing how it's going to finish. So, I'm wandering along.

Derek knew that everyone thought that all he had to do was snap his fingers and Penelope would do what he wanted. They were wrong, it was exactly the opposite. He loved taking care of Penelope. All she had to do is mention a burned out light bulb or a leaky faucet and he and his toolbox were on their way. He considered it his duty to look out for his baby girl.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he loved the time after she was shot. Even after she was safe from Battle, he continued to make her couch his best friend. He reveled in their pseudo domestic life, even calling "Honey, I'm home!" every time that he walked in the door. He loved cooking simple meals for her and even doing her grocery shopping. He was amused to no end when a cute girl at Safeway started to flirt, glanced at his cart and saw the tampons there, then turned and walked away.

He was nervous the first day that she went back to work. He carried her bag in, putting on a brave face and joking all the while. He wanted to turn around and take her home when he saw the look on her face at the mess in her office. He tried to act casual as he offered to clean up, but he didn't want her to be upset, and was ready to do whatever she needed to be happy. When she kicked him out of her office to take care of it herself, the feigned hurt wasn't all an act.

When the team had to go out that day, he was terrified. He usually called her at least once a day when they were on the road, but this trip he called her several times. It got so bad that their last phone call began with "Derek Morgan, if you call 'just to check in' one more time, I will give your personal cell number to that girl in the mail room that they almost had to fire for stalking Agent Anderson!" He laughed sheepishly and promised to be less overprotective. Or at least act like it.

He had seldom been so relieved when he could legitimately call her to tell her that they were coming home. And he was beyond pleased that she needed help with her chair, and yelled at her to make sure that she waited for him to take care of her. After all, that was his job.


End file.
